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Jobu Reviews the Yankees trip to Toronto to face the Blue Jays.

After a quick two games in Baltimore, the Yankees headed north, and across international borders, to play two games at the Rogers Centre. They were coming off of a split with the first place Orioles, but not playing particularly well, so a quick sweep would have been nice. I’d also like to win the lottery and find a cat that spits gold hairballs. Let’s find out how things went.

Game 1: Blue Jays 8, Yankees 1

Kuroda blew up in Toronto, and it wasn’t pretty. (Abelimages/Getty Images)

The first game of this series pitted Hiroki Kuroda against Kyle Drabek. Kyle is the son of former Yankees prospect, turned Cy Young Winner for the Pirates, Doug Drabek… Kyle does not sport the mustache, unfortunately, but at least he went full beard. On a side note, the Yankees just finished their series with the Orioles, who currently have another former Yankee’s son on their roster. They have Steve Tolleson, who is the son of Wayne Tolleson, a crappy middle infielder for the Yankees in the 1980s (Steve has also decided to go sans-mustache… these kids today…).

Road Warrior

Road warrior is what i would have called this section of the post, if Hiroki Kuroda actually knew how to pitch on the road. He was terrible, allowing seven runs on eight hits and two walks in just five innings. The lowlights included a two-run home run to J.P. Arencibia, a three-run home run to Edwin Encarnación and a solo home run to José Bautista. Kuroda is now 0-4 on the road with a 6.23 ERA. Well done. I thought Kei Igawa went back to Japan. At least the bullpen only gave up one run in their three innings (on a home run, of course).

Three Hits

That’s all we got? Three damn hits? In a time where the Yankees desperately need their offense to bail out their starting pitching, they aren’t doing anything. The Yankees were held to a double by Canó and singles by Teixeira and Ibañez. They managed six walks, however, so they still left a bunch of guys on base, keeping with their yearly trends. Phew! They again were hapless with RISP, going 1-8 in the game. It’s getting to the point where, when they get men on base, I play the “how will they blow this one?” game. The only run of the game came on Tex’s single, and it wasn’t hit particularly well. Also, why is Andruw Jones on the team if Joe Girardi is going to let Ibañez hit against lefties with men on? Ibañez has been doing great this year because they are platooning him. Just because he’s doing well, doesn’t mean he’ll do well against lefties. Is Joe Torre still pulling the strings somewhere? Stink. Stank. Stunk.

Notable Offense: RBI – Teixeira (20)… Nice notable offense.

Game 2: Blue Jays 4, Yankees 1

It was nice of the Yankees to let Bautista break out of his slump this series. (Frank Gunn/AP)

It would have been nice if the Yankees could have come out and won game two. It would have been nice if the Yankees had split this series. It would have been unbelievably nice if the offense had snapped out of their funk (the 8 runs against baltimore in game one not withstanding because most of them were kinda crappy runs). It would have been awesome if yet another unknown pitcher (sorry Drew Hutchinson, I’m not really angry at you) hadn’t shut down one of the “best offenses in the league,..” None of that happened.

Sorry Phil, The Offense Hates You

Let’s keep in mind that Phil Hughes didn’t pitch the best game I’ve ever seen. He went 5.1 innings and ply allowed 2 runs on seven hits and two walks while striking out five. Unfortunately, when you only give up two runs, you can’t win if your team only scores one. I won’t even get mad at Cory Wade’s two runs allowed. Number one, Wade has been awesome this year. Number two, because the Yankees offense should never be held to less than four runs. Sorry pitchers. Nothing short of a shutout would have gotten anyone a win tonight. It’s all good, Phil. You done good, boy. I will note, however, that Bautista, who came into this series hitting .195 with eight home runs, is now at .207 with ten home runs. You’re welcome, José.

Sigh… Offense

For the second straight night, the Yankees only scored one run. In fact, they have only scored four runs in the last three games. You know how many games you can win by scoring four runs in three games? None. Zero, Zilch. Credit goes to Canó in this game for driving in the only run in the top of the first inning.. It was scored by Curtis Granderson, who was the only guy to have multiple hits in this series (Yankees only mustered eight hits in the two games) The Yankees went 0-8 with RISP again, but that hasn’t really been a surprise lately. The Yankees offense is on a monumental downswing. Is it just a slump, or is this how things are going to be from here on out? Can we DL Mark Teixeira and send him to some kind of isolation clinic (or just move him lower in the order)? I mean honestly, was anything in this series worth reporting about??

Notable Offense: RBI – Canó (15), 2 hits for Granderson

Final Thoughts

…. Bah humbug. Honestly, this is a lot more fun when the Yankees play like professional baseball players. It is still relatively early, and I still don’t believe in the Orioles, but 20-18 and fourth place in the standings is kind of unacceptable for this team. Get it together, grouch. At least we’ll get to see the Yankees lose to the Reds next, ah?

Featured image courtesy of: Abelimages/Getty Images

Martin Stezano

About Martin Stezano

Uruguayan born and American raised with a unique perspective on the domestic and international sports scenes. It will both tickle your funny bone and enlighten your mind. Love it or hate it...just read it.