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Jobu Introduces a new series, his Shots of Rum. These are things of note that happened that can’t fill a whole post, but need to be talked about!

Last week was a pretty busy one. We were able to discuss a few things in the blog, namely Yoenis Céspedes, Eli Manning, The Shula Bowl and the Joe Paterno firing, but here are some quick shots of some other stuff that went down, but don’t necessarily need to have their own posts. Don’t worry, these go down smooth and don’t give you a hangover.

Michael Jordan: Owner

This may have been Michael Jordan 25 years ago, but these days he goes to work in a suit.

Not that anyone should ever listen to Stephon Marbury, but he irked a lot of people last week by calling Michael Jordan a sellout. Here’s an exerpt from Marbury’s personal twitter account:

Micheal Fake Jordan is a sell out. #Period. He forgot which hole he came out of. I said it “Stephon X Marbury”… MJ went from MJ the black cat to a guy who forgot he was a player. Sell your team if you can’t make a profit.. Your just a regular dude now! … When he rapped the Bulls for 36 million for one year no ones said nothing about that…

Stephon, When you were a kid, I bet you wished adults weren’t allowed to yell at kids or punish them, right? You probably thought things would be great if your parents weren’t allowed to do that to you. Now that you’re an adult, do you not punish your kids? Do you tell your kids what to do and punish them when they don’t follow? You have to punish them, because now you’re a parent. The same principle applies to Michael Jordan. When he played, he was on the players’ side. He wanted what was best for him back then. Why should the owners get all the perks? It’s not fair.  Now that he’s an owner, guess what? He’s got a new perspective on things. He’s more understanding of what an owner has to do to keep the team together and make it profitable. Of course he’s going to be on the owner’s side. He might be more understanding to the players’ concerns, but at the end of the day, he’s an owner. He has to protect his franchise and, most importantly, his money. Grow up Stephon. Jordan didn’t sell out. He bought in.

Roger Clemens: Go Away, No One Likes You

I know Bartolo Colón and David Wells were fat too, but they weren’t almost 50.

If I do a Google image search on a former professional athlete and I find more pictures of them wearing a suit and coming out of a courtroom than pictures of them playing their respective sport, their career is over. For those of you who don’t know what I am referring to, a rumor has been circulating that Roger Clemens is in Puerto Rico contemplating a comeback with Indios de Mayaguez of the Puerto Rican Winter League, where his son Koby is currently set to play. Roger. For the love of God. You’re 49 years old and in terrible shape. All the injections and pills in the world won’t get you back in shape to play baseball. Unless you’ve been directly ingesting stem cells, please go away. No one likes you. Just be glad you’re not in jail.

I Can’t Hate Jorge Posada

Another former Yankee has been coaching Jorge through the end of his time with the club.

It’s been a while since I’ve written about Jorge Posada. Since the start of free agency, everyone has been trying to figure out what Jorge’s next move is. He has acknowledged that there’s “not even a percentage of a chance” of a return to the Bronx in 2012. The only thing left to sort out is if Posada will retire after a seventeen career with the New York Yankees, or if he’ll end up coming back for one more go with another team. I, for one, hope that he just retires. No one wants to see him in A Marlins or Royals uniform. However, I can’t hate the man for wanting to leave the game on his own terms. Also, once the Yankees stopped letting him hit against righties, he actually held his own pretty well. His slash line was .269/348/.466, and he clubbed 14 home runs in 279 ABs. That’s not so bad. He even had a few clutch hits here and there during the year. If an American League team needs the lefty component of a DH platoon, Jorge could possibly still help. He should not go to the National League because he’s not good enough to be a a viable option at catcher or first base. Either way, I wish Jorge the best in whatever he chooses. I just hope he doesn’t try to hold on too long like Bernie Williams did (sorry Bernie, we still love you).

The Phillies Throw Away $50MM

The Phillies signed up for at least four years of this nonsense.

On Friday morning, the Phillies were poised to re-sign Ryan Madson to a four year, $44MM contract. Madson had been in the Phillies organization his entire career and was (and is) the best closer on the market. By the afternoon, the Phillies had spent $50MM on Jonathon Paelbon. The four year deal has a vesting option that could make this a five year, $60MM monstrosity. I’m not saying that Papelbon shouldn’t be paid like a top closer. Despite a few high profile failures, he has been among the best closers in the league for the last six years. He deserves top money, but the years are a bit ridiculous. Not every major league closer can be as durable and as successful as Mariano Rivera. Giving a closer more than a two or three year deal is insanely risky. Committing four or five years at top money could really come back and haunt them. This is especially so for a team who may not have Ryan Howard for part of the season, is probably losing Jimmy Rollins to free agency and is dealing with the decline of Chase Utley. This team needs that $50-60MM to help revamp the offense, not to pay for 60 innings a year.

The Miami Marlins Have Ugly Uniforms

I’m not sure which one is the ugliest… actually… the orange.

Hey everyone, the Florida Marlins are now the Miami Marlins. Not only that, but they took their already kind of ugly uniforms and made them even uglier! Who designed this thing? Since when has orange ever contributed anything positive to a uniform design? Remember the Astros ugly 80s uniforms? How about the Orioles? Even they minimize the orange in their uniforms nowadays. To me, they look like minor league uniforms. I hope their brand new stadium is slightly better decorated at least.

Jordan image courtesy of:
Clemens image courtesy of: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images file
Posada image courtesy of:
Papelbon image courtesy of: AP Photo/Winslow Townson
Marlins image courtesy of: Michael Laughlin, South Florida Sun Sentinel

Martin Stezano

About Martin Stezano

Uruguayan born and American raised with a unique perspective on the domestic and international sports scenes. It will both tickle your funny bone and enlighten your mind. Love it or hate it...just read it.

3 thoughts on “Weekly Shots of Rum: 11/7/11 – 11/13/11

  1. First of all, i was all set to say that Rivera himself never got more than three years, but he did get one 4 year contract in 2001. Still, that’s Mariano Rivera. He HATES fried chicken. Also, did you know he lost his 1999 arbitration hearing? When he retires, the Yankees should give him that $2MM as a present. And, remember 2007 when the Yankees wouldn’t negotiate an extension and he got huffy and said he was going to check out the market? What a cluster that would have been. It’s as if the Mets were dumb enough to let Reyes leave as a free agent. Pfffft. Wait, what?

    Michael Jordan was a selfish asshole on the court, why would he change now? He has a pathological need to show people how much better he is than they are at anything and everything. The man trash-talks his own son in public speeches. Other than Starbury, who is in the least surprised by this turn of events? The man grew a Hitler mustache, and I’m pretty sure there’s no shrine to Charlie Chaplin in his house.

    As far as Miami, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I love the unis. I can’t wait to see them next year in Omaha for the CWS. What do you mean that’s not UM?

    I was going to make a Florida Marlins of Miami Florida joke, but thought better of it.

  2. Yeah those Marlins uniforms almost as bad as the original astro’s uniforms from the 80s or even the white sox ones. But ever since Miami came out with their new uniforms and logo’s the Orioles and Padres tried to do the same thing…and none were any better! And in regards to Jorge, I hope he just retires and knows whats best for him because I don’t want to see him play anywhere else.

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