Apparently, rumor has it that the Miami Marlins and Giancarlo Stanton are discussing an extension that would keep the slugger in South Beach for the next ten seasons, and would pay him $300 million. That would be the biggest contract in league history, eclipsing the one signed by Miguel Cabrera a couple of years ago by a cool $8 MM. This is a horrible idea for everyone involved, and here’s why the Marlins need to stop.

First of all, I just want to make it clear that I mean no disrespect towards Stanton whatsoever. I think he’s one of the most exciting players in the big leagues today, and I’ve often said I would trade literally the Yankees’ entire minor league system–coaches, trainers and stadium workers included–just to get my hands on the guy. He’s had a little trouble staying completely healthy (tough to group last season into that, considering he played in almost every game until his face was literally crushed by a fastball late in the year), but when he’s in there, he’s a monster. Over his now five year career, he has averaged .271/.364/.540, with 39 homers and 102 RBI for every 162 games… on the Marlins. On a real team, he might have had 20-30 more RBI per season. He also brings a wow factor to a team that is uneclipsed by many in the league, as you’re always waiting to see just how far he’s going to crush his next homer (really, really far, btw). He’s also only going to be 25 this season, and he’s scheduled to hit free agency at 28, which is almost unheard of.

That being said, I also want to be perfectly clear that I 100% do mean a lot of disrespect towards the Marlins. They’re a shitty organization that I’m pretty sure is run by poorly trained seals at this point. Is there a worse organization in baseball? This is an organization that not only duped tax payers into funding their new stadium, but also duped their fans into thinking they were trying to win a championship two years ago, only to institute the team’s third “everything must go” fire sale of the last 15 years or so. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re not run by poorly trained seals. They might be run by that Crazy Eddie guy instead. His prices were insane!! And then he went to jail for fraud.

Anyway, does anyone in their right mind believe that this is a good deal for anyone involved? For one, the Marlins payroll last season was $44 MM. There have been rumors this off-season that they are looking to bump their payroll for next season so that they can field a competitive squad, but come on. I call bullshit on that. Remember in 2012 when they bumped payroll to field a winner for their new stadium? Where are José Reyes, Mark Buehrle, Hanley Ramirez and Heath Bell now? Well, other than Bell, who was a terrible signing, these guys are all contributing to good teams around the league, because the Marlins bailed on their “payroll bump for competitiveness strategy” within a year. That’s when rumors began flying that Stanton was fed up with the Marlins and wanted out. If they bump payroll by only signing Stanton to this giant deal, and don’t have money for anyone else, that’s not going to lead to a lot of winning.

OK. I’m going to speak directly to Giancarlo now, so everyone else stop reading…

Giancarlo. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and, dog gone it, people like you. Don’t let the Marlins sweet talk you back into their arms. They’ll just end up dumping all over you again, trading all of your teammates and leaving you crying and alone, operating the fish sculpture home run thingy in the depths of Marlins Park like Quasimodo. Also, your gigantic contract might impede their chances of dealing you to a team that actually deserves you, like the Yankees. Just demand to be traded now. I know the Yankees can’t afford you, but you deserve better than to be in Miami, for a team run by seals that were poorly trained by that Crazy Eddie fraud guy (such good prices though!).

Some highlights from Stanton’s monster 2014 season: 

Featured image courtesy of: Wallpapers Today